So, the other day I was watching an episode of Star Trek: Voyager, in which Captain Janeway, while arguing for the rights of an artificial person refers to humanity's past with words something like: "It was only a few centuries ago that only landowners of a particular gender and race had any rights..."
And my initial reaction to her statement was a sudden tightening in my chest and the panicked thought: "Oh no! I don't own any land!"
Yeah, I thought that was funny too.
Okay, so here's my strange and funny dream:
Last night I dreamed that I was in Kapuskasing on a Sunday morning. Immediately before morning meeting, my father asked me to preach afterwards and I felt that I had no choice but to agree, so I did.
I planned to think up a message during the breaking of bread, but every time I opened my Bible my mind would wander and I would forget. So, suddenly it was time to preach and I had nothing. I was sitting in the front row, desperately leafing through my Bible and thinking, The Psalms? No. I don't know the Psalms that well. One John? No, I did that last time I was here. Philippians? No, I did that the time before... and becoming more and more panicked.
But when the time finally came, I was getting ready to get up and make up a message on the fly when an older gentleman got up and started preaching. I was confused, was he going to preach instead of me? Was he only introducing me?
As I was thinking this, Jesse, who was sitting directly behind me put his feet through the crack in my seat and pressed them against my back. I was irritated and tried to shove his feet away, but he shoved back. He shoved back so hard that, to my extreme embarrassment, I fell out of my chair and landed on the floor in front of everyone.
But I didn't have a long time to be embarrassed. I began to slide along the curvature of the earth, faster and faster, unable to stop. I could see the continents rushing by as I slid. Finally I came to a stop. When I returned to my ordinary size, I was in Russia.
I thought, Okay, no problem. I'll find an airport and take a plane to Toronto; I'll be home by bedtime. So I started walking. I followed a bus into an airport. On the bus, though, I saw my coworker, Chad. (Not my brother, my coworker at the stupid store.) He asked me what I was doing and I replied that I was an international spy. (Weird, huh?)
So, anyways, I decided to try to find a telephone so I could call my parents so they wouldn't worry about me, so I entered one of the buildings in the area and asked the first person I saw if there was a telephone I could use. It was a girl and she turned out to be Marie-Helen, the girl I had a crush on in grade six-seven. So, she took me down to a dungeon like basement where there was a telephone. So I dialed my parent's phone number and my mother answered, but I could hear her asking whoever was with her, "Who in the world is..." and the number of the phone from which I was dialing--there was one in my dream, but I can't remember it now, just that it had an awful lot of sixteens in it. I had to yell into the phone to get her attention.
So, when I did get her attention, I told her my situation and that I would be home shortly and that I would pay for the flight with my credit card, but that I expected her to reimburse me upon my return. (Can you imagine the audacity?)
Then I tried to get Marie-Helen to take me to the terminal, but instead she took me to the local campus of Lakehead University and disappeared. And then I woke up.
cool.
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