pizza woes

yargh. either i'm insane, or the customers at little caesar's are.
i try to wait on customers as fast as i can, being as friendly as i can, giving them their orders and change as quickly as possible.
but for some people, 'hot&ready' isn't ready enough! there's always the ubiquitious toe-tapper, the "excuse me, i ordered before him" interrupter, the "six minutes? that's too long" sayer, or the "tsk tsk, aren't we ready yet?" fake sugar monsters. ugh. it makes me feel really pathetic that i'm pouring out all that i have into serving well, and it's still not good enough. if, with all the effort and grit i can muster, i still can't handle little caesar's, what will the rest of my life be like? yikes.
but it really feels like the customers think they have to fight me to get what they want. don't they know that's what i'm trying like crazy to give them?
i think there should be a sign on the cash:

Dear Customer:
I want you to have a very pleasant experience here.
I want to be as helpful as I can, and I will do my best to get you exactly what you want at the cheapest price possible and as quickly as possible.
I will be friendly, crack an occasional appropriate joke, smile winningly, and wait patiently while you fish for pennies in your pockets. I will admire your babies, talk to your kids, and help old people out the door. I really really really want you to have a good day.
-Employee
PS.Unfortunately, I can't make personal phone calls for you to find out what sauce your family wants again, especially when there are five people in line behind you. Sorry, I can't pick the mushrooms off a Canadian hot and ready. They come as they are. If you want just bacon-and-pepperoni, it will be a six minute wait. Just because you order first doesn't mean your order will be finished first. Some people order hot&ready, that means they don't have to wait. Occasionally, one of us will make a mistake. It's okay, we'll fix it at no cost to you. No, I didn't charge you too much for the pop. It's called a deposit. We recycle. Please don't expect me to warn your kids about pawing through the poppies. You know that pins are sharp.

i know that customers are the same the world over, and the bad customers stand out in my mind more than the good ones. patrick finds women in general more rude, and i think older professional men are the rudest. give me in-from-the-sticks-hillbillies any day: they might call canadians "canadianas" but they say thanks and have a nice day when they leave. moms with little kids are fun - the kids always have things in their pockets they want to show off, and it makes moms happy when you admire them. old people are always happily surprised by the speed of hot&readies, and they love crinkly-eye smiles. they get more polite when they're pleased: i usually get a "thank you dear" or "thank you miss" when i give them their order.
and it's really awesome working with patrick and joey (and everyone else is fun too) and i am grateful to have a job and a paycheque.
i love being able to lift and slice and pack a pizza in a few seconds, then hand it, steaming, to a really happy customer. mmmm. that part almost tastes as good as a bacon, feta, and hot-pepper pizza ....