So I just read in the news that Angelina Jolie has "topped a list of the world's most beautiful women." So, she's supposed to be the most beautiful woman in the world or something. I very, very strongly disagree. In fact, I think they should put the entire list in the toilet.
Above is a photograph of Angelina Jolie. Okay, I know it's not the most flattering photo, but I will refer to it when pointing out why I don't think Angelina is the most beautiful woman in the world. (Incidentally, I think Angelina Jolie's most attractive role was in the film Gone in Sixty Seconds where she had platinum blond dreadlocks.) So here are my reasons:
1. Her lips. Everyone seems to be crazy about those lips but I don't know what they're seeing. It's just ridiculous, those lips are probably the chubbiest part of her body not that that's a bad thing, in itself--it's just so incongruous.
2. Her eyes. They're plain and forgettable. I can't even remember what colour they are, seconds after looking at them. They're also too small.
3. Her hair. It's thin and flat. And that hairstyle is just yucky. If her hair had more body or if she had dreadlocks it would be way more attractive.
4. She's just way too skinny. I mean, I can see her collar bones sticking out through her sweater! That's just ridiculous.
5. Her face. It's plain, it's too narrow, it doesn't have any outstanding features.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think Angelina Jolie is unattractive or even ugly. I just don't think she's very pretty. On a scale of one to ten, I might give her a four or a five, compared to Janelle's perfect ten.
Ok, ignore the ugly bum on the left but take a look at Janelle. This is why I give Janelle a perfect ten:
1. Her eyes. They're a vivid, perfect blue and they've got a great shape. In short, they're unforgettable.
2. Her freckles. Freckles are sexy.
3. Her hair. It's got lots of volume and body. And it's curly. No boring or forgettable hairstyles here!
4. Her smile.
5. Her face is nearly perfectly proportioned and her big hair frames it really well.
6. She's not plain looking and she's not skinny. She's just amazing.
7. She's mine.
Above is a photograph of Angelina Jolie. Okay, I know it's not the most flattering photo, but I will refer to it when pointing out why I don't think Angelina is the most beautiful woman in the world. (Incidentally, I think Angelina Jolie's most attractive role was in the film Gone in Sixty Seconds where she had platinum blond dreadlocks.) So here are my reasons:
1. Her lips. Everyone seems to be crazy about those lips but I don't know what they're seeing. It's just ridiculous, those lips are probably the chubbiest part of her body not that that's a bad thing, in itself--it's just so incongruous.
2. Her eyes. They're plain and forgettable. I can't even remember what colour they are, seconds after looking at them. They're also too small.
3. Her hair. It's thin and flat. And that hairstyle is just yucky. If her hair had more body or if she had dreadlocks it would be way more attractive.
4. She's just way too skinny. I mean, I can see her collar bones sticking out through her sweater! That's just ridiculous.
5. Her face. It's plain, it's too narrow, it doesn't have any outstanding features.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think Angelina Jolie is unattractive or even ugly. I just don't think she's very pretty. On a scale of one to ten, I might give her a four or a five, compared to Janelle's perfect ten.
Ok, ignore the ugly bum on the left but take a look at Janelle. This is why I give Janelle a perfect ten:
1. Her eyes. They're a vivid, perfect blue and they've got a great shape. In short, they're unforgettable.
2. Her freckles. Freckles are sexy.
3. Her hair. It's got lots of volume and body. And it's curly. No boring or forgettable hairstyles here!
4. Her smile.
5. Her face is nearly perfectly proportioned and her big hair frames it really well.
6. She's not plain looking and she's not skinny. She's just amazing.
7. She's mine.
* patrick, i love you.
ReplyDeleteyou're so amazing and affirming. i love you.
xoxoxoxoxoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I concur. Janelley is gorgeous!!
ReplyDeleteoh my-- you are a keeper!
ReplyDeleteIt's true, janelle is the best :)
Patrick, you are one of a kind and I'm sure that Janelle feels safe and secure in your love for her! It will be 3 years next month that you two are together, isn't that just amazing?
ReplyDeleteWow Patrick, that was incredibly cute of you. You've got great taste- Janelle is stunning (I'm a big fan of her eyes!).
ReplyDelete~CRC