This is the part where I blather about dating relationships.
Frankly, dating relationships disgust me. They belong to people who don't have the guts to get married or have no interest in getting married. First, let me say that you don't have to know someone very well before you marry them because no matter how long you've been dating, no matter how well you think you know someone, you'll always find yourself married to someone completely different. My advice is, jump in with both feet or stay single. Or let your parents pick.
Like Socrates said, "By all means, get married. If you marry a good wife you will be happy. If you marry a bad wife, you will become a philosopher." And you can turn it around and apply it to women too: if you marry a good husband, you might be happy. If you marry a bad one, you will become a philosopher.
Anyways, every dating relationship eventually comes to a certain point where one partner turns to the other and says something like, "What are we and why?" This is inevitable.
So I've come up with a few simple rules for managing this topic, whenever it comes up. Of course, these rules are split along gender lines. If you don't like that, just remind yourself that this is my blog and therefore my unqualified opinion and if you were taking this seriously in the first place, you should know better. So here are the rules:
Questions Men Are Allowed to Ask:
Questions that have "yes" or "no" answers. For example, a man can ask, "Would you go to dinner and a movie with me on Saturday night?" or "Will you marry me?" (If the answer to that is "No" you can ask a follow up question like, "Is there a chance that the answer will eventually change?" but remember to keep it to "yes" or "no" questions. If the answer is No again, drop it. Don't ask again unless you have reason to believe that the answer might be different.) Also, if you get a "No" answer, don't let it shake your confidence. It's probably nothing personal. At least you asked. (Just make sure you look your best and don't stink or have stuff in your teeth when you ask, because she might say No just because you look sloppy.)
Questions Women Are Allowed to Ask:
Women can ask whatever questions they want. Also, they don't have to justify their answers to questions men ask. If the answer is No, that's enough. Men should never ask questions like "Why?" Because it makes them sound whiny and unconfident and nobody likes that and if the woman wanted to qualify her answer, she would have. Women can ask questions like "Why?" because women can ask whatever questions they want.
Other Rules:
If a man asks a question like "What are we and why?" the woman is unconditionally allowed to slap him as hard as she likes in the face or kick him in the balls. If the question has to be asked in the first place, it's probably because the man doesn't have the balls to ask the woman a "Yes" or "No" question. My advice to you women is ditch this man and don't look back. He could string you along for a very long time. I don't care how much you like him or how hot (or rich) he is, if he isn't going to ask you to marry him (or be his 'girlfriend', if he's a chicken) you should ditch him. In any case, the woman should be the one asking that question if the man hasn't asked a "Yes" or "No" question. It might prompt him to do so. Men can be forgetful sometimes.
If the woman asks a question like "What are we and why?" and she gets an answer like "Just friends" she should drop it. Don't keep bringing it up or asking "Why are we just friends?" If she wants to be more than just friends she should ask him to marry her (or be her 'boyfriend', if she's a chicken). If the woman gets an answer like "Just friends" when there is some serious emotional stuff going on, like constant hand holding, kissing, making out, or even sex, the woman is unconditionally allowed to kick the man in the balls or even kill him as the situation requires. Okay, maybe not kill him, but get a good guy friend to "talk" to him, if you know what I mean. And then she should drop the relationship and not talk to him again unless she has reason to believe that things have changed.
If the woman is asking the man to marry her she had better have a ring or some other token handy. It shows she's serious. Also, if a man asks a woman to marry him without giving her a ring or promising to get her one right away the woman should say no just as a matter of principle.
If a man and woman are "just friends" they should not be kissing, constantly holding hands, snuggling, cuddling, or having sex. If a man asks a woman to be his wife or girlfriend and she says no he is prohibited from engaging in any kind of serious emotional stuff with that woman. If the man hasn't asked the woman to be his wife or girlfriend yet he is prohibited from engaging in any kind of serious emotional stuff with that woman. If the woman insists, the man should first ask her to marry him or be his girlfriend; if she says no and she continues to insist, the man should leave; she isn't a very good friend.
These rules are subject to change at any time without notice.
Frankly, dating relationships disgust me. They belong to people who don't have the guts to get married or have no interest in getting married. First, let me say that you don't have to know someone very well before you marry them because no matter how long you've been dating, no matter how well you think you know someone, you'll always find yourself married to someone completely different. My advice is, jump in with both feet or stay single. Or let your parents pick.
Like Socrates said, "By all means, get married. If you marry a good wife you will be happy. If you marry a bad wife, you will become a philosopher." And you can turn it around and apply it to women too: if you marry a good husband, you might be happy. If you marry a bad one, you will become a philosopher.
Anyways, every dating relationship eventually comes to a certain point where one partner turns to the other and says something like, "What are we and why?" This is inevitable.
So I've come up with a few simple rules for managing this topic, whenever it comes up. Of course, these rules are split along gender lines. If you don't like that, just remind yourself that this is my blog and therefore my unqualified opinion and if you were taking this seriously in the first place, you should know better. So here are the rules:
Questions Men Are Allowed to Ask:
Questions that have "yes" or "no" answers. For example, a man can ask, "Would you go to dinner and a movie with me on Saturday night?" or "Will you marry me?" (If the answer to that is "No" you can ask a follow up question like, "Is there a chance that the answer will eventually change?" but remember to keep it to "yes" or "no" questions. If the answer is No again, drop it. Don't ask again unless you have reason to believe that the answer might be different.) Also, if you get a "No" answer, don't let it shake your confidence. It's probably nothing personal. At least you asked. (Just make sure you look your best and don't stink or have stuff in your teeth when you ask, because she might say No just because you look sloppy.)
Questions Women Are Allowed to Ask:
Women can ask whatever questions they want. Also, they don't have to justify their answers to questions men ask. If the answer is No, that's enough. Men should never ask questions like "Why?" Because it makes them sound whiny and unconfident and nobody likes that and if the woman wanted to qualify her answer, she would have. Women can ask questions like "Why?" because women can ask whatever questions they want.
Other Rules:
If a man asks a question like "What are we and why?" the woman is unconditionally allowed to slap him as hard as she likes in the face or kick him in the balls. If the question has to be asked in the first place, it's probably because the man doesn't have the balls to ask the woman a "Yes" or "No" question. My advice to you women is ditch this man and don't look back. He could string you along for a very long time. I don't care how much you like him or how hot (or rich) he is, if he isn't going to ask you to marry him (or be his 'girlfriend', if he's a chicken) you should ditch him. In any case, the woman should be the one asking that question if the man hasn't asked a "Yes" or "No" question. It might prompt him to do so. Men can be forgetful sometimes.
If the woman asks a question like "What are we and why?" and she gets an answer like "Just friends" she should drop it. Don't keep bringing it up or asking "Why are we just friends?" If she wants to be more than just friends she should ask him to marry her (or be her 'boyfriend', if she's a chicken). If the woman gets an answer like "Just friends" when there is some serious emotional stuff going on, like constant hand holding, kissing, making out, or even sex, the woman is unconditionally allowed to kick the man in the balls or even kill him as the situation requires. Okay, maybe not kill him, but get a good guy friend to "talk" to him, if you know what I mean. And then she should drop the relationship and not talk to him again unless she has reason to believe that things have changed.
If the woman is asking the man to marry her she had better have a ring or some other token handy. It shows she's serious. Also, if a man asks a woman to marry him without giving her a ring or promising to get her one right away the woman should say no just as a matter of principle.
If a man and woman are "just friends" they should not be kissing, constantly holding hands, snuggling, cuddling, or having sex. If a man asks a woman to be his wife or girlfriend and she says no he is prohibited from engaging in any kind of serious emotional stuff with that woman. If the man hasn't asked the woman to be his wife or girlfriend yet he is prohibited from engaging in any kind of serious emotional stuff with that woman. If the woman insists, the man should first ask her to marry him or be his girlfriend; if she says no and she continues to insist, the man should leave; she isn't a very good friend.
These rules are subject to change at any time without notice.
hmmm.
ReplyDeletebest comment ever, mama c!
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